An End...

We are once again meeting here at another start of a new year. Usually I would have prepare a recap or rather a summary of my thoughts for things that I've encountered throughout the year by either the year end OR the first day of the year itself but 2025 ended with news that affected us in a way so some changes are made here and there.

2025 surely came like a rollercoaster, there are times I felt like it went by too fast while at times it surely brought me through a leisure sightseeing moments. 2025 started with a hustle as always but this year, it taught me that self love and self care really does matter. Not that I didn't have those thoughts before but the things that happened surely enhanced the motivation for me to seek my true self back..mid of the year, I made the long awaited decision to make a move in my life, a move to pace back myself, a move to learn new things... And most importantly, a move that was fully supported by my parents.. and clearly while making those moves, I may have crossed some hearts be it in the way I act or speak.. and honestly, it was never my intention to hurt anyone in the process of maneuvering my wheels to a new path but I may have unconsciously build up walls especially to those that I may not have the freedom to meet again to avoid having hopes that things will remain as is once I'm gone. It's unhealthy and unfair I bet, but somehow I ended up having that coping mechanism in me, not gonna blame anyone for that but things does put a toll on me and thus this move is important for me, at least to help me see things differently, to help me manage my problems differently and to accept that it is fine at times to act as such.

It has been 4 months since I changed my path, to some it may seems like, there's nothing much changed since I'm still part of the industry but the environment does feels different, at least for now...I'm not saying work wise it is less stress or I'm doing anything super different than what i'm doing prior, but I decided to change the way I present myself, I decided to be more participative and active....I make new friends, who luckily have the same wavelength as me and accept my randomness and weird moments just fine (not that I don't have those back then, shout-out to my sisters and brothers in AM and AG), I'm opening myself more to ideas and ways to address problems..I'm not aiming for perfection..but I hope I get to once again be a better version of myself in the new year and many more years to come.

Family wise, there's a lot that happened too..and I think main things have been mentioned in my previous posts...nothing much changed or needed to be explained further in a recap post like this hahaha, but there are events that caught us by surprised as mentioned earlier. So, for those who have been reading my blog or even my IG might have noticed that since I started working, I've been cutting my hair annually. And so, there's no different this year. I've booked for a haircut on the 21st since I've planned to get back to my hometown the night before...but who would have thought, while I was cutting my hair, my mom break the news that my grandfather has passed...i'm not sure what my dad must have felt at that time, but he did managed to go back earlier to be with him during his last moment...to be frank, I don't really have anything to elaborate about it, in fact, I didn't really remember much what actually happened...well I can clearly see whatever that happened on that day, but emotionally...it's like a jumbled up balls of feelings...in my head there'd like tons of question, imagination, expectation rushing in, buzzing in my mind...lots of potential scenarios running around...but I just can't pin down what is it that I felt that day... The next day, my mom broke another news that her brother passed away the previous night due to a car accident... So, I drove them there for the final goodbye...luckily my firm has a week of firm shutdown, so i'm able to be around and drive them around to clear some minds...and luckily too my brothers are nearby, they are able to be present during those emotional moments and provide a safe space for us to run too...

So yeah, 2025 it surely started at the peak and ended with a sharp falls, at this point, I don't really have any hopes from 2026..I think, just live well, grow well, work well...nah these would be just fine for now..after all,I do need to stabilise my living again before I can plan or aim for anything more since this year I have my new baby Jimmy to treasure, I also started learning Ukulele while still trying to improve my keyboard..so loving this small things matters more at the moment <3.

So that's all for now!! Until I have more free times to let out my thoughts~

Should I?

I've learnt yet another lesson yesterday...The incident doesn't really surprised me, but I guess the fact that it actually happened and gives me this thought proof that I somehow have put some hope and trust in something or perhaps someone that I know by now I shouldn't and this annoys me... I learn that these values co-relate with each other, Hope, Trust and Respect... I understand that you can't put on hope without putting the trust in it and there's no trust without hope as well and you won't gain respect without trust too...so it seems like the incident happened when I actually put these values in it which leads to that tiny glimpse of hope to nurture the respect that I once have and put my trust back to where it once belong... But it turns out, it's true..not everyone deserved them...yeah you can say I'm exaggerating my reaction right now, considering it only happened once...then my question is why does it only happens once, why now? It has been more than 5 years, if I was just born then, I can now talk and run and I might even start to be taught about these values in my kindergarten...I'll be honest, there are times that I missed the moments we once enjoyed and cherished each others presence (at least to me I did), after all these things happened, I did took more than a year to brace myself and try to digest what really happen and where does it goes wrong...there's even time where I start to question my own thoughts, maybe just maybe You are being the childish adult here, maybe if you let loose and let go like they requested for before, things won't go this far...maybe if you be like some of your friend, whatever your parents did or went through doesn't involved you, You might still have some hands to hold on too (aside from MY family which I won't let go of those hands)...I've even lie to myself saying that what they did doesn't bother me, just close my eyes and focus to improve my own life...but truth be told, yeah there are times I'm sad, jealous, furious, mad at the updates I've seen or heard...there are also times where I picture myself being part of their moments IF these things didn't happen...in fact, after what happened yesterday, I realised if it was gonna be that easy, it shouldn't take more than 5 years...If it was that simple, you won't have the hesitation and questions running in your head...I'm the stupid one for having the slight hope that I may gain back what I had lost...cause it turns out it was never mine from the start...there's a quote I heard in a drama I watched recently, "The only thing that can't be replaced in this world is yourself. Even that person from your past can be eventually replaced" I wasn't sure how does it relates to me back then, but hearing it again now I think I understand it well...so let's put our values at the right place and time and find a better replacement for better future..<3

Another born day

Turning 27, thanks to my beloved parents for bringing me into this world, filled my life with loves and comforts, consistent and continuous efforts in ensuring I grow up healthily, happily and gratefully. Thanks for all the exposures provided, life lessons shared and memorable moments experienced that build me to be who I am today. Of course, this gratitude are extended to my brothers and sisters too, and not to forget the little one, Lily! Also, the people I met throughout my life, who may directly or indirectly affect the way I look at things, think of ways to go about my life, giving me ideas to improve my lifestyle and have a bigger dream or goal to keep me progress positively in life.

Stepping into my next journey as mentioned in my previous post with a (hopefully) more matured mindset and stronger willpower! Not sure of what to expect that will come my way but hopefully, I get to counter them heads on as I've been doing in the past years - obviously with a better approach and clearer mind. There's still a lot to learn, and it's never too late to upgrade oneself to a higher level. Let's go on our own pace to be a better version of ourselves in the future!!

Jumping to another tree, venturing like a monkey

I found out recently that I didn't post anything last year, not even my usual end of year or happy new year post..like for real FOR REAL!?? Shoot.. seriously there's a ton of things going on in the past times that makes me decide to take a moment to put everything at halt... Life has been an adventure and as I mentioned in my past posts, I'm trying to create a path that I can proudly look back and say "you made it with no regret!" But truth be told, there are some questionable decision made, but did I regret it now...nahhh not really, as time went by another lesson learnt is that, life's too short for regrets anyway and failure is the best teacher.

This year, again I didn't get to write a happy new year post BUT!! I'm updating now for another reason.

Earlier this year, as I'm busy hustling with another engagement that I caught myself into (ps. I'm out of the previous cage to be in a new "greener" cage) I'm also busy fulfilling my dream. So, let's backtrack a bit to give some context bout this dream of mine. So a few years back, something caught my eyes as I was driving at the highway, it is small but gives out an aura from far away that makes me turned my head twice to capture it sight. Ever since then, I've been eyeing for it and makes it a not-so-short term goal of mine to own one. My initial goal is to buy it as a self reward once I'm able to escape from my job with the expectation that I'm able to land a new job and get convincing pay that will be able to support my fantasy soon. I've been actively searching for a new role/job but sadly I keep receiving bad news. Sometimes in earlier this year, I heard that I may face the possibility of not obtaining that dream of mine as they are going to discontinue it. This makes me feel more rush and desperate to own it but the push factor really not due to the time pressure, but thanks to those devilish whispers from my fellow team members, who consistently feeding me with "supports" and "prayers"..after days of convincing and discussion had with none other than my financial planning role model @ my Dad! I ended up buying that dream of mine before I leave my firm. So officially on 12 March 2025 - You may call me the owner of Jimmy the Jimny <3.

Hi Jimmy

Thanks En Sukry for making things waayyy to easy for me

Back view <3

Front View

Loving my new boyfie

Partner in crime, one who witness D'Momento

Bought this in Thai hihihi..turning ma dream into a reality

Looking stunning no matter what size

Mini gathering of the Suzuki

Remember this? The car (Dad's) that I thrash in the Parit!

Bro's

I don't know how to describe the feeling had back then, when I went to test drive it, I simply fell in love with it as soon as I took hold of the steering wheel. The fact that I booked it on the same day I test drive it for the first time still feels unreal to me. Was that considered as impulsive thoughts hahaha..worry not, Kevin is not left behind, he is safely passed to my bro to assist him with his daily needs. So yeah~

Sorry Kev but Kinetic Yellow is the new Orange now..

Moving on the next topic which is more relatable to the title of this post. GUYS Finally GUYS!! I'm moving on from this firm..I'm leaving for good..But as the title mentioned I'm just jumping to another tree, still within the same industry..but this time it's a bit different as I'm entering with hope that I can learn new things while searching for my pace back. I've did what I can while I can. Although I may not leave the team on the right time but I hope everything will end on a good note. There's a lot of relationship made and paths I've encounters throughout the 5 years in the firm. There's a lot of emotion to digest to describe the adventure had. I enjoyed most of it actually but there are things that can always be improved and made better. People aren't something we can control or demand for changes to happen overnight. And knowledge isn't something we can install or download immediately. But the time spent there is a lesson and experience for a lifetime. Apologies for my shortfalls and thank you for the memories and lessons learnt. I hope the resignation from the firm doesn't equate to the end of friendship gain. Thanks again to my fellow team members, bosses and assistances that were provided by everyone across all departments. 

I'll be starting my new job next week 4th Aug 25. Hope everything went well.. I'm not concern on the work stress that much as I'm fully aware being in the same industry, how big of a difference do I get but I do wish it can give me more opportunity to find myself back and produce a better version of me.

Lastly, I'm just sharing the fact that I'm able to write this post due to...ehem2...my new tablet..I just bought myself a new tablet - Xiaomi Pad 7 - don't ask me why Xiaomi bla3...my money my problem kay~ so far it is still fresh from the oven so I'm still satisfied with it, let see how long it will last hehehe hope it can be my next buddy and allow me to update you more often.(Sorry Huawei, you left me on bluescreen T-T). That's all, I'll be sharing more once I stabilise my life again hahahah cause gurl this girl just came back from war and still in recovering phase HAHAHA so till then..Adios~~!! (Vid from En Sukry on the day my baby was delivered hehe)

stepping into another year~

Here again, last night of the year. It's interesting to look back at every year end to see how life unfold...365 episodes, with multiple genres that can be tag in each series... There are some episodes totally filled with comedy, romance, horror, Action!... and of course a lot of them mixed with genres like emotional, savage, dark comedy, etc... Life sure is a drama, and being the main character is not an easy thing... so congratulations to all the main characters that managed to survive once again till the end of the series this year! Honestly, when I hit 25, I feel thrilled as this is the age that I has been waiting for since high school... There's a lot of things that I had plan for my 25 year-old self back in the day... And as always Allah is the best planner, I won't give up on those plans, as I'm only 5 months in my 25th year of age hehe

If I can summarise what happened this year, there's a few karaoke sessions had, some birthday celebrations, there's day that we went to support Carmen FSO rep!, golf session with the team to destress ourselves, laugh, tears and also virus spread at client's place hehe, team lunch/dinner, farewell with a few team members, attend Jeng Yee's big day, family trip to Tambun and Ipoh (house with karaoke ^^), temple experience with team, introduced to a nice cafe by Carmen (had breakfast with them a few times too ^-^), visited mom's hometown, being part of EY FSO's netball team (won 3rd place!!!>.<), sprained my ankle and walked with swollen leg for at least more than a week hehe, filled my house with clown (weird that I hate clown but I legit has clown related items everywhere in my house), badminton session with fam! (while recovering from the swollen leg - which makes it worst -.-) , as per my last post I got another sis, burning my stomach with bro and sis, barbeque sessions, My first flight experience - Sabah FSO group trip <3!, new TV, surprised my teammates with the amount of food I can consume, supporting bro for his Full Marathon, fight with Lily everytime we are left alone hahahah, finally experienced ACCA member event, went to Night of Fright with the scaredy cats that actually turns out to be the bravest pack of all (salute with admiration O-O), watching my bro graduation, spent almost the whole day at games cafe and museums, eating alone during dinner event T-T, bowling games, spring cleaning, annual hair cut appointment, christmas dinner and lastly secret santa event with buddies... Wow that is almost EVERYTHING I did this year hahahaha...

So yeah that is all, 2024 please be nice to me, Arfareena Arman, let's grow stronger, braver and more mature this year to face new challenges and obstacles... Although I always pray that others only go through flowery path, I do know life is not that simple, thus I hope despite any unwanted experience to face in 2024, we can all go through with it heads on... of course, we are only humans and are prone to make mistakes, but let's be a bit more careful as we step deeper into adulthood...since we are well aware now that it is not easy! Thank you for every experience, leeway, lectures, lessons learnt in 2023!! hope you can see a better version of me in 2024~!

enjoy almost 90 pics below MUAHAHAHAH

Boss Sohan last day

Jeng Yee big day

meeting with old friend Wei Sern

Cara utk menakutkan Lily muahahah

hadiah Abah #YNWA

Tambun trip

focus yg blakang tau bukan depan

struggling nau angle photographer ni ambik

again pls focus yg blakang

temple experience

our jersey

FSO netball fam

sister's match 2nd n 3rd

my team

practice session

right after 4-5 rounds and a drive back home

swollen foot

helpful friends that help me throughout my first flight experience

admiring the clouds

loving the view

want to experience this again..a walk by the beach with a splendid view

night activity..shhh it's a secret

happy pirate and smiling captive(?)

cray2 pirates in action

walking alone around jesselton and bought myself that shell necklace

great hospitality from Shangrila Rasa Ria - farewell song from the staffs 

accessory for THE night

while in line for the roller coaster

Scary yet fun night to remember

Thanks gurls (+ 1 bodyguard)

Eh2 ada acah2 Korea - Kelate jahh

short meet up with this cuties

1st medal gain from EY

thanks team

great to know you gurls

finally arrived

OOTD

one with the president himself

Karaoke house

Golf time

congrats bro

belemoih masing2

pokkk congrats pokkk

board games cafe

only we were there, so we play as much as we want to

my santee gifts <3

Santa mode on

Chu as company hehe

snack bag

Santa coming~

adioss

the view that night

Made by Carmen, helped by Zee Yan, An Qi and Xin Lu

mine is soda k..really full that night no joke 

my gifts from my santa

got what I wish for <3

can be used for my online interview..*hint2* ahahahha

most needed item in my house

Carmen's hot choco

morning view

Santa off duty

our meal that night

cute gurls..Thanks

Pyjama theme for the secret santa event hahah

Date with mom and haircut appointment

my dad asked me "who are you?" after I sent him this

I didn't realise my hair does grow quite long over the year

But I started loving shorter hair now anyway hehe

has been going for this range of hair for the last 3 years.