I've learnt yet another lesson yesterday...The incident doesn't really surprised me, but I guess the fact that it actually happened and gives me this thought proof that I somehow have put some hope and trust in something or perhaps someone that I know by now I shouldn't and this annoys me... I learn that these values co-relate with each other, Hope, Trust and Respect... I understand that you can't put on hope without putting the trust in it and there's no trust without hope as well and you won't gain respect without trust too...so it seems like the incident happened when I actually put these values in it which leads to that tiny glimpse of hope to nurture the respect that I once have and put my trust back to where it once belong... But it turns out, it's true..not everyone deserved them...yeah you can say I'm exaggerating my reaction right now, considering it only happened once...then my question is why does it only happens once, why now? It has been more than 5 years, if I was just born then, I can now talk and run and I might even start to be taught about these values in my kindergarten...I'll be honest, there are times that I missed the moments we once enjoyed and cherished each others presence (at least to me I did), after all these things happened, I did took more than a year to brace myself and try to digest what really happen and where does it goes wrong...there's even time where I start to question my own thoughts, maybe just maybe You are being the childish adult here, maybe if you let loose and let go like they requested for before, things won't go this far...maybe if you be like some of your friend, whatever your parents did or went through doesn't involved you, You might still have some hands to hold on too (aside from MY family which I won't let go of those hands)...I've even lie to myself saying that what they did doesn't bother me, just close my eyes and focus to improve my own life...but truth be told, yeah there are times I'm sad, jealous, furious, mad at the updates I've seen or heard...there are also times where I picture myself being part of their moments IF these things didn't happen...in fact, after what happened yesterday, I realised if it was gonna be that easy, it shouldn't take more than 5 years...If it was that simple, you won't have the hesitation and questions running in your head...I'm the stupid one for having the slight hope that I may gain back what I had lost...cause it turns out it was never mine from the start...there's a quote I heard in a drama I watched recently, "The only thing that can't be replaced in this world is yourself. Even that person from your past can be eventually replaced" I wasn't sure how does it relates to me back then, but hearing it again now I think I understand it well...so let's put our values at the right place and time and find a better replacement for better future..<3
