Experienced experience

I'm nearing the end of my first peak in this new journey of mine. Actually, I kinda did hit the finishing line a few days ago but I was pulled into another smaller entity within the same engagement to help out, so yeah guess my fav saying still hold here "It's not the end till it's THE END"...but like I mentioned in my last post, there's a different here, honestly I may jinx this but my first year of peak kinda went well, I mean, better than I expected. Considering I joined the team halfway, replacing the previous senior, who's leaving with remark/reminder for me to take care and good luck in handling this new team...I bet my parents would be the person who agree with me the most, witnessing how I can still have time for myself despite being in THE PEAK! In the past 5 years of my career life I had, I'm not saying this is any easier but at least, I have time to pull myself together, gather my thoughts and be more prepared undeniably there are things that does came in like a bulldozer at times, siren ringing in my mind moments, but yeah..I'm not sure if it's due to the structure here or due to my own experience but I'm pretty sure both reasons are one of the main contributor for this smooth sailing I had so far. I'm also grateful with the blessing of good team to work with and supportive managers who put their trust in me although I'm new.. there's absolutely a lot of things I still need to learn and adapt to, so far this journey does give me that ray of light to continue hoping my career would grow and flourish further and better...so yeah..aside from great peak so far, this year I got to spend more days (OFF LAPTOP) during Raya hahaha..and had more than 3 Raya celebration with my colleagues/friends...and the best part so far is that I had the chances to meet my parents every month thus far...My dad has officially retired in January, since then they almost had all the time of their life to waste it on ME! Hahah just kidding, but they have been coming to KL every 2 months or so, if not, I'll be the one going back to Kedah...this year for the first year, we are actually planning a lot of trips/staycation...so I've applied my leave but it's pending approval..but once it's approve yoo-hoo babbeyyhh just wait for our trips materialise! Other than family trip, there's also a lot of plans had with my friends...in fact we have a long list of things to do but let's take it one at a time, cause seriously, our list is A LOT! No cap! Hahaha..so yeah~ can't wait to see how 2026 will continue to shape me as a person...it has been quite pleasant so far, there are some nasty, weird, unnecessary, fake encounters but nah, I think I've been well train to face it so far...so walla, till more fun things to update..Adios~

An End...

We are once again meeting here at another start of a new year. Usually I would have prepare a recap or rather a summary of my thoughts for things that I've encountered throughout the year by either the year end OR the first day of the year itself but 2025 ended with news that affected us in a way so some changes are made here and there.

2025 surely came like a rollercoaster, there are times I felt like it went by too fast while at times it surely brought me through a leisure sightseeing moments. 2025 started with a hustle as always but this year, it taught me that self love and self care really does matter. Not that I didn't have those thoughts before but the things that happened surely enhanced the motivation for me to seek my true self back..mid of the year, I made the long awaited decision to make a move in my life, a move to pace back myself, a move to learn new things... And most importantly, a move that was fully supported by my parents.. and clearly while making those moves, I may have crossed some hearts be it in the way I act or speak.. and honestly, it was never my intention to hurt anyone in the process of maneuvering my wheels to a new path but I may have unconsciously build up walls especially to those that I may not have the freedom to meet again to avoid having hopes that things will remain as is once I'm gone. It's unhealthy and unfair I bet, but somehow I ended up having that coping mechanism in me, not gonna blame anyone for that but things does put a toll on me and thus this move is important for me, at least to help me see things differently, to help me manage my problems differently and to accept that it is fine at times to act as such.

It has been 4 months since I changed my path, to some it may seems like, there's nothing much changed since I'm still part of the industry but the environment does feels different, at least for now...I'm not saying work wise it is less stress or I'm doing anything super different than what i'm doing prior, but I decided to change the way I present myself, I decided to be more participative and active....I make new friends, who luckily have the same wavelength as me and accept my randomness and weird moments just fine (not that I don't have those back then, shout-out to my sisters and brothers in AM and AG), I'm opening myself more to ideas and ways to address problems..I'm not aiming for perfection..but I hope I get to once again be a better version of myself in the new year and many more years to come.

Family wise, there's a lot that happened too..and I think main things have been mentioned in my previous posts...nothing much changed or needed to be explained further in a recap post like this hahaha, but there are events that caught us by surprised as mentioned earlier. So, for those who have been reading my blog or even my IG might have noticed that since I started working, I've been cutting my hair annually. And so, there's no different this year. I've booked for a haircut on the 21st since I've planned to get back to my hometown the night before...but who would have thought, while I was cutting my hair, my mom break the news that my grandfather has passed...i'm not sure what my dad must have felt at that time, but he did managed to go back earlier to be with him during his last moment...to be frank, I don't really have anything to elaborate about it, in fact, I didn't really remember much what actually happened...well I can clearly see whatever that happened on that day, but emotionally...it's like a jumbled up balls of feelings...in my head there'd like tons of question, imagination, expectation rushing in, buzzing in my mind...lots of potential scenarios running around...but I just can't pin down what is it that I felt that day... The next day, my mom broke another news that her brother passed away the previous night due to a car accident... So, I drove them there for the final goodbye...luckily my firm has a week of firm shutdown, so i'm able to be around and drive them around to clear some minds...and luckily too my brothers are nearby, they are able to be present during those emotional moments and provide a safe space for us to run too...

So yeah, 2025 it surely started at the peak and ended with a sharp falls, at this point, I don't really have any hopes from 2026..I think, just live well, grow well, work well...nah these would be just fine for now..after all,I do need to stabilise my living again before I can plan or aim for anything more since this year I have my new baby Jimmy to treasure, I also started learning Ukulele while still trying to improve my keyboard..so loving this small things matters more at the moment <3.

So that's all for now!! Until I have more free times to let out my thoughts~